Jokes...

[Big B]

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer

2. Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been going at least 125 mph to catch me. Good job.

5. Are you Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in good shape to be a police officer.

7. You're not going to check the trunk are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Do you know why you pulled me over? OK, just so one of us do.

10. Gee officer That's great. The last officer gave me a warning too.

11. I was trying to keep up with the traffic. Yes I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the officer says "Gee son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, " Gee officer your eyes look glazed have you been eating doughnuts?"

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A priest, a rabbai, a cop, and a polish guy walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"

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How do you make a baby float?

A: Take your foot off it's head.

 

[Waffle]

That baby one rocks.

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IRELAND
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?”

FRANCE
Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?”

ITALY
“Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ”

POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?"

TURKEY
“Where’s the hash at?
It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?”

KOREA
“Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?”

CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great.”

ENGLAND
“Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?”

SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs?
Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?”

ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!”

CANADA
“You’re like Americans without money.”

SPAIN
“So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow.
Your women can shave if they want to, right?
Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?”

SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”

MEXICO
“What's that smell?”

SAUDI ARABIA
“Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car?
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?”

RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated?”

GREECE
“I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."

AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”

JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?”

AUSTRALIA
“How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?”