ok, i will not tell her yet, about, how long should i wait ?
I can certainly understand how you feel, or something very close that is common to all people who've been lonely. :) Let me start out by saying that you have value as a unique human being. I don't know you very well on a personal level, but the way I've seen you interact with others here on HWF tells me that you're kind and generous, and have a fair degree of empathy for others. So, don't feel that you're worthless because you're disabled! Your body may not be exactly how you wish it to be, but that is common to nearly everyone to some degree. Remember that the body's merely a temporary conduit for the soul, which lasts a lot longer. I mean, look at what Steven Hawking has accomplished, and he's completely paralyzed from head to toe. Not to say you have to be a genuis to be worthwhile, but that discounting somebody because they're not Adolf Hitler's idea of perfect is just fucking ridiculous, yeah? :)
because i don't want to scare her away, so, how long does everybody think ?
This is a tough one, since we don't have much in terms of context, and we don't know her at all except from what you've told us so far. But I would caution you of two things. I warn you as a fellow human that this may be difficult to take in, but do not let it discourage you, please. The first is that the lonelier a person is, the more socially needy they become. The second is that this is a catch-22, because the more socially needy a person becomes, the more uncomfortable they can and often will make people around them. Frankly, it sucks, but it's true. So I don't know if this fits your situation or not, but if it does don't let it get in your way. Instead, recognize what's happening and be especially cautious to meter your interaction with people. To put it bluntly, don't act too eager for company if you can help it, or you might scare them away.
In this specific situation, what I might do if I was in your shoes is to first and foremost keep the above in mind, and in so doing take "baby steps" towards a relationship with this girl. Whether it ends in friendship or something romantic, at least you won't have scared off somebody you care for by approaching too quickly. In your place, I'd thank you for her kindness towards you. I'd tell her honestly that her company makes you feel like a whole person again, and that you'd appreciate it if you can call her friend. That shouldn't be to threatening to her, and you will have a good opportunity to gauge her reactions. In this situation you don't have to be debonair, merely honest and real. In so doing, you will make yourself vulnerable to some extent
which is attractive to good-hearted girls. As far as I can see, approaching cautiously like this can only be good for both of you, because if you care for this person you don't want to cause her harm, right?
If all goes well and she reacts very favorably or even persues the issue herself, maybe you could ask her out for lunch or tea sometime soon, or perhaps dinner and a movie. I don't know how much you're able to get out, but public places tend to put people more at ease, especially since she's only known you a couple of weeks.
BTW: thank you everyone who advised me, i really do appreciate it
I live to serve. :)
Edit: BTW: i'm thinking she does like me, because, she's said that this is the best job she's ever had, but, i'm still waiting, but, i'm not sure she likes me like that
Again, I'd take it very slow at first, and you can mutually feel eachother out, so to speak. Think of her as a wild doe in the woods; if you approach too quickly, you might scare her off, and she'll bolt for the foliage! :x: On the other hand, if you really care for this girl, you won't want to make her uncomfortable, right? So try to put yourself in her shoes as much as possible, and gauge her reactions with sensitivity. It's also very good to ask her questions and get her talking about herself. That will help towards building a friendship of any kind, be it romantic or platonic.
Your friend,
-Chris (AT)
