European English Language The 5 year Convergance Plan The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that should be completed by April 2010 and would become known as "Euro-English". Year 1 "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. Year 2 There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. Year 3 In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away. Year 4 By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v" Year 5 During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from words kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sesibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Zen ze vil rul ze vorld!!! I got that from business network magazine of all places! Europe stinks, I bet this isnt a joke! Back off Brussels!
LOL It sounds like french people trying to speak english lol So...you're telling me this crap isn't a joke ?
No its a joke. But I think its more of a joke about how the European Union wants to change everything. They keep passing these stupid laws. Things like the wonderbra adverts, tv programs etc giving a sterotypical view of men and women are all being banned. ie A sitcom called men behaving badly. Its a popular tv show here, but its about 2 blokes living in a flat. Ones got a bird, the other is trying to get into some fit bird on the next floor up. But it focuses on these blokes getting pissed and treating women not how they should. Nothing bad, but they would expect dinner to be on the table if you know what I mean. Deodourant adverts of a bloke spraying it on and then the women flocking around him cos he smells nice.... llegal. Beleive it or not! But its also illegal to actually have salt AND vinegar served in a take away. It must react somehow.... it aint dangerous but its illegal! These arent old dumb laws though (www.dumblaws.com) they have just been passed. There are loads of them!
I know a lot of countries don't want to be thought of as some American knock off, but this is nuts...almost as bad as some black people trying to get Ebonics as an official language.
lol, zeus, I remeb dumblaws from a while back, It was quite funny. I think the EU are trying to take over the world, lol j/k
