Laugh and groan with this link. A few samples: Co-Worker: "What version of DOS does UNIX run?" --------------------------------- Tech Support: "Am I speaking with Mr. Brown?" Customer: (in a heavy Italian accent) "Yesss, who eees this?" Tech Support: "This is technical support. I see you requested to speak to a Mac expert." Customer: "And you are theees Mac expert?" Tech Support: "Yes sir, I am. I see here you're having trouble receiving e-mail--" Customer: "Yes, your *&@$% company put me on the phone weeeth a stupid woman who didn't know @#$% about Macs and she @#$^ up my compoooota." Tech Support: "Ok sir, calm down. What specifically is the problem you're having with email?" Customer: "Cannot you read, stupid woman? Eeeet should say in the teeeecket." Tech Support: "Sir, if you do not cease using abusive langauge and profanity, I shall terminate this call immediately." Customer: (mocking tone) "Oooooooh, okay, threatening the customer are we now?" Tech Support: "Sir, I will repeat my question. What specifically is the problem you are having with email?" Customer: "Well, every time I go and try to get eeet, it ask me for a pazzword. It never do that before." Tech Support: "Do you know your password?" Customer: "Yes." Tech Support: "Did you enter your password?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: (head in hands) "Sir, if it is prompting you for a password, you must enter one to receive your email." Customer: "But but but, I never deeeed theees before, and it work FINE." Tech Support: "What email client are you using?" Customer: "Don't use those big eendustry terms to scaaare me. What is meaning client?" Tech Support: "What program do you use?" Customer: "Netscape, I justa download it. I hated that !@#$%@ Eudora." Tech Support: "Ok sir, I can help you configure Netscape so it won't always ask you for your password, but it will ask for it once." Customer: "But I never enter a #$!@%-ing password before!" After much cajoling and gratuitous verbal abuse, he finally consented to let me configure his program. He downloaded his mail and then asked, in a sneering tone: Customer: "So you are the Mac expert, eh?" Tech Support: "Well, I'm not certified by Apple or anything, but I do own a Mac, and I do fine on it." Customer: "Ok, what ees this Mac TCP DNR file, what does it dooo?" Tech Support: "Well, the DNR stands for Domain Name Resolver." Customer: "Eeees that eeeeeeeet?" Tech Support: "Sir, if you want the specifics on that particular file, I suggest you contact Apple tech support." Customer: "Some @#$%-ing Mac experta you ar-a, you stupid woman!" Tech Support: "Sir, I must stress to you that being abusive to technical support can result in the loss of service." Customer: "Yeah, right-a, som-a stupid woman is-a gonna cancel my account!" Tech Support: "Consider yourself reported." (click) After that, I received a gushing email from a fellow tech who did a check on the guy a few weeks after the call. By his name and encrypted password was the word "cancelled." Sweet. -------------------------------------------------------- Customer: "I would like to buy a game for my kid." Salesman: "Sure madam, come with me." Customer: "Are these on floppy disks? The boxes are too light." Salesman: "Well madam, games are not being released on diskettes any more. They are being released on CDs." Customer: "CDs?" Salesman: "Well, do you know the CDs with music?" Customer: "Yes?" Salesman: "Same thing, only it contains a PC game, and we use it in the PC, in the cdrom drive. Do you have a cdrom drive in your PC?" Customer: "Well, I am not sure. Can I buy it and copy it on a floppy disk and use it from there?" Salesman: "Well no madam, that's not possible." Customer: "Why?" Salesman: "It cannot fit in a single floppy disk. It's too small. The game is made to run from the CD and not from the floppy anyway." Customer: "Well, I can use many floppy disks." Salesman: "I told you madam, even if you copy it in the disks it won't work. And anyway you would need many disks to do that. Around 400." Customer: "I think I have 400 disks in my home. How much does the game cost?" ------------------------------------------------- Plenty more where that all came from
I work in a tech support centre... I'm at work now actually, I'll post some funny ones on this thread if I come accross any today or in the future
this is my fav: Customer: "When my computer boots up, all I get is a black screen that says, 'boot2/'." Tech Support: "What operating system are you using?" Customer: "I'm using Windows 98 and NT 4.0." Tech Support: "Ok, I'm the Mac tech. The Windows tech is gone, but I can try to help you." Customer: "Ok, what should I do? I've reformatted the hard drive and have fresh installs of both operating systems." Tech Support: "Sir, have you put any cheese or mustard in your a drive?" Customer: "What? Did you just ask me if I put cheese or mustard in my floppy drive?" Tech Support: "Yeah, we've had that happen a lot lately." Customer: (staring blankly at roommate, who was laughing uncontrollably on the floor) "I think I'll wait for the PC tech to get back. Thanks for the help." (click)
"I can't hear the wheel inside grinding" Only you guys could comprehend how hard it must've been for me to stop myself from laughing on the phone a minute ago when someone said that to me
We had one guy here (banned for being a prick) that insisted that a Voodoo 3 was better than the current crop of GeForces (GeForce 3 level at the time).
yeah, imagine anyone putting cheese or mustard in a floppy[ot]i might try it, it'll be a laugh, if nothing else[/ot]
[ot] Y try smthing which is already done by smthing else. Try smthing new, Put fire under a CD and Burn it like that... [/ot]
[ot] that's a neat idea, trying to make an ashtray out of a cd, but i can't think of a way to block the hole in the middle[ot]i'll think about it[/ot]
Dont worry about it, Just put one in the pocket of your each pents in case you lost in the sea it will be a very good reflector...
I hear Dell tried the naked flame burning process previously... Then when their laptops started blowing up, they stopped.
