Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer,it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. (It used to be an English accent for the German.) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speakto each other in English. Extremely beautiful and intelligent women are likely to become prostitutes or welders. Radiation causes interesting mutations - not to your future children but to you, right there and then. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. If a killer is lurking in you house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon - then look in your bathroom mirror and he will suddenly appear behind you. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. If you wear glasses and something unbelievable happens, it is always nessasary to take off your glasses so you can see the event more clearly. If you are a hacker, expert or novice, and you break into a computer system you must say "Were in!" or "I'm in!" very enthusiastically and as if you've never broke into one before. You can always guess a password on a high security system by the fifth attempt - the password is always displayed to the screen - always in really big letters so everyone around can see you type it in. Whenever there is a huge explosion and/or fire, running away, and falling onto the ground (in slow motion with at least six different camera angles showing the same shot several times) will only give you slight soot marks to the face. (If you're the Star, and not the unfortunate Red Shirt) Coroner and lab reports take minutes instead of weeks. Heavy smokers can run like the wind yet never get tired or out of breath. It doesn't matter that there is no medium to conduct sound in the vacuum of space -- spacecraft whizzing by, lasers going off, and large explosions will still produce sound. Even the most junior of millitary personnel have absolute knowledge of all defensive and offensive tactics.
another one you missed - if your once padiwan rebels and joins the dark side cutting off a fellow jedi's hand and is dueling you in a lightsaber battle...you can always use the force and he will run away.
Here are some of my many personal observations, out of the movies I watch these are among the most common cliches.... To add to the bomb idea: When you cut the wire to the detonator, the timer will stop. You will not be able to do this, however, until only one second remains. Strong men are still veiny in the arctic. Only muscley and attractive people get their shirts ripped off, when you're a body builder this is guarenteed to happen at least twice (if it's not taken off volunteerily first). Whenever you need to steal someones clothing it's a surprising good fit. When typing nobody really need the space and backspace keys. If being chased the women must always trip, usually over a stick, she will then need to hold the mans hand regardless of how much slower this causes them to go. All disks and files are compatable with any computer. You don't really need to save your data, just shut off the computer Turning it on and off the computer should take about a second or two. Everyone knows how to use alien computers and high-tech control panels (which seem to explode easily) You can get a satalite feed no matter where you are, images play in real time and are high resolution You can never start your car the first time when attempting to escape from the villain Everyone has a 2gigibyte connection When a partner is about to be assigned the character should utter "I work alone" at least once. People don't get acne. Any car can break though a fence or blockade A couple can alway find a table for dinner, if at a forign resturaunt the male figure speaks the same language as the forign staff and owner Stolen cars get great gas milage and seem to have a full tank There don't seem to be stop signs when a chase scene is in place Most things explode easily Countdowns don't execute in real time, 10 minutes can be half and hour easily. People don't remember to move off to the side when running from an oncomming object Heros don't usually have to go to the bathroom. In car chases all fruit carts are natural targets The bad dudes cars explode after a few shots but the car the good guy drives can take an amazing amount of damage If you are a mechanic, part of a minority group, and have no romantic attachments you will die before the film is done Gunshot wounds really don't hurt that much, a person can continue to fight after a few hits The same bullet that just shot through the nearby wall can't seem to do the same to your arm Warp drives never work when you need them to Most bad guys are aliens, thugs, or look like they're part of the CIA Most stong men like one-liners Once caught, the good guy also gets the explaination fo the bad guys master plan so he can prevent it The bad guys will also talk just long enough so that good guy can find out how to get out of the situation Main bad guys can be resurrected a couple times The body contains a few gallons of blood which is sometimes pressurized Grenade pins are to be pulled out with your teeth Many SCI-FI films and shows have at least one deep, rational, male figure that meditates from time to time With one of two exceptions dogs don't die Cool people hold their pistols sideways, it works better that way Cool high-tech costums don't offer much face protection, and the bad guys don't seem to realize this Nobody uses a .22 calibar gun A good western needs spilled water troughs, lots of richocheting, a bar fight (complete with the broken bottle threat, a swing on the chandelier, a random hot bar girl, and a guy playing on the piano until the bad character walking in the swinging doors), a duel, and a good train fight. Suspended wooden bridges have a step that breaks The phone always is mysterioulsy cut in the haunted house when the character intends to use it, he/she will then hold the cut wire up in fright 50% of African Amercians are protrayed as having squeeky, getto style voices Britts have to say mate All high class people like classical music Incrimminating evidence is carefully labeled so the good guy can always find it Most people stare at encroaching danger and either jump out of the way or get saved just before it's too late Bacon and eggs are what's for breakfast When you've been retired for a few years chances are you'll be called upon "one last time" All police chiefs are either chubby, or have a bushy mustache Alien computers can be hacked with a laptop Video phones somehow manage to display the other persons face, even though that person is holding the phone up to their ear It's alway a surprise to the husband the women's pregnant, she'll always give birth before the movies over, it will only take a few minutes and the baby will come out dry and clean. No C-sections in the movies aswell. Asians know Karate Most dectives are alcoholics and have had trouble with love and lost their brother or partner Women don't go through their "periods" Geeks need glasses, thick ones And as always: Nearly everyone knows english, aliens, tribal chiefs, Germans, etc.
Here's a few of my own, When in a kitchen you can have everything smashed over your head yet never be knocked unconscious UNTIL your head comes into sharp contact with an aubergine, then you're out for the count. Bullets move slower than the human body. When an object is cut, it NEVER reacts until a few seconds later, this applies to people too. If there is a poster/flag nearby it HAS to be shot, burned or sliced. If a person doesn't have a name in a gunfight, they're dead. Goons in a gunfight are the WORST shots in the world. Heros never miss in an important gunfight. In a stand-off with arch enemies both holding guns neither of them thinks to just pull the trigger before the other can. Important people don't die instantly, they always have just enough strength to recite a long speech and then die in the middle of the most important part. During the final fight a gun MUST be knocked out of reach, only to suddenly turn up at the most important part of the fight, the end. When a boat is blown up and you and your nemesis are thrown onto a beach nearby there will be no trace of a Harpoon Gun, but just when you REALLY need one, it magically appears at your feet.
Nice WWR! :good: It totally have to agree with those, especially the ones about bullets moving slower than the human body, heros never missing at crital times, and goons are the worst shots. So true.
